It has only been a very recent thing that I would say I feel comfortable in my own skin. I suffered terribly with deep rooted insecurities from as long as I can remember. By my own admission, I have a pretty poor long term memory.But I can still vividly remember another boy in my class at Primary school shouting over at playtime that I had ‘tree trunk legs’. The comment stayed with me until my adult life.
Although this example was obviously just a case of teasing at school, as I got older though my confidence was still at rock bottom. I struggled with the fact I wasn’t tall enough, smart enough, slim enough. I used to buy every single gossip magazine and would openly criticize celebrities on the ‘beach bod’ page and made judgements on other women’s outfit choice in the ‘worst dressed’ section.
Looking back now, I definitely have my own opinions about these articles in magazines. Who are we to pass comments on other people, from what they choose to wear or how they look? Are we perfect? The answer is obviously no. I know personally, although I would have never admitted it at the time, I did this because I wasn’t confident in myself or own abilities, so instead I made passive judgements on others.
You may be thinking; I will feel confident when I’ve lost the 10lbs that I want to lose for my summer holiday. I assure you, having been in that situation myself, confidence isn’t about how much weight you can lose, it comes from within. The biggest barrier to confidence is how YOU see YOURSELF. Mindset is the overriding key factor.
1.Find your passion
I’m not saying it’s feasible to quit your job straight away to pursue a career in what you truly love to do. But there’s no getting away from the fact that work does take up a large part of our lives. I worked really hard on my hobby whilst in full time employment and made a structured plan of action to work towards in order to leave to pursue my passion. It can be done!
2.Don’t be afraid of rejection
Failure and rejection is a part of life. Don’t stop challenging yourself because you worry about not being able to deal with a set back. We learn something from every situation, including the not so good ones. Always have trust in your own capabilities and do what you believe to be right.
3.Distance yourself from negativity
We can’t control another person’s actions or thoughts. If someone is having a continued negative effect on the way you feel about yourself though, my advice would be to distance yourself from them.
Make time regularly to just stop and reflect in a calm space. There are really so many things to be grateful for. When you find yourself struggling with self doubt, try describing three positive things about yourself before stating a single negative.
No one is perfect, regardless of what we think or are led to believe.... Be yourself, always.